Poetry

A selection of my poetry, some of which was published in Anthologies through the International Library of Poetry, and songs...

This poem, only written in 2017 as I couldn't find the words until now, is in loving memory of Imogen Elizabeth Murfitt, September 2014...

Still

The world is silent
and the world is still
She is a vision
and there is only her in this room
Her tiny body
sheathed in the requisite pink
Mouth half open in what I fancy
is a secret smile
reserved just for me
The world is silent
and the world is still
And how I have waited for this moment
A perfect moment
From an idea to a vivacious shadow onscreen
A white-coated figure
casually pointing out fingers and toes
And now there is an upturned nose
a curled fist pressed against a scrubbed pink cheek
as she sleeps
And the world is silent
and the world is still
Because she is silent
and remains forever still

Tomorrow Never Came

If it wasn’t an accident, was he brave or a coward?
If the abrupt termination
of his life, was not ‘unforeseen circumstances
but a carefully planned demise, a perfectly timed leap
into another world

Quickened breath, wild eyes as the train arrives
Moistens his lips; his favourite programme is on tonight

Did you know your today would never become yesterday?
I didn’t know you, but I see you
A solitary figure within the bustling crowd
Nameless faces, unaware of your plight
Unaware of you, until now

Seconds tick by, surveys an advertisement
Slowly chews a fingernail; he really must buy that

If it wasn’t an accident, was he brave or a coward?
We only hear facts; ‘a man was killed today’
We don’t know the rationale or the source; just another statistic
in the morning news
Was he brave or a coward?
Either way, his tomorrow never came

An ode to my little man...

Chocolate Bunny

“A chocolate bunny and a banana”
is all my little boy needs
Other kids scheme of tablets; bikes
his taste is fairly niche
“You can have anything you ask for...
if you get 10 stars this week.”
“But mummy all I want...
is a breadstick and a peach”
We're off to the fairground
We head towards the rides
But little dude hotfoots it
straight to the doughnuts and fries
“What do you want for Christmas?
There's not long to go”
“Mummy, all I want for Christmas
is a yoghurt and some toast”
A supermarket is the plan today
his face lights up with glee
Is it a toy: a DVD?
“Mummy – it's wibbly wobbly cheese!”
I sit the little man down
“Are you really sure?”
“A chocolate bunny and a banana”
No less and no more
A chocolate bunny and a banana
are the things that fill him with joy
Food is just his thing: that's my boy

Shattered Image

A mirror shattered yesterday,
a mirror in my mind,
memories scattered inside of me,
memories I was reluctant to find  

The image of me that others could see,
a reflection of misapprehension,
shattered into tiny pieces,
broken pieces of their own invention  

Memories I can hide,
but the truth I cannot  

A mirror shattered yesterday,
a mirror in my mind,
memories shattered inside of me,
my true self to which they were blind

Poison - An anti-love Sonnet

O ruthless venom that took hold of me
Coursed through my veins like a mocking serpent
Poison that was disguised so tenderly
Trying to destroy me before it went
away, tried to leave me with its toxin
You were that vile poison that made me ill
Deadly viper that so wanted to win
Pierced me, left your corruption in me still
feasting on my unsuspecting spirit
O what beautiful, cloying, loathsome love
Contaminated: festering, was it
a curse? It grew, until it was alive
Ruthless demon, your poison went on
trickled through my veins, but now it is gone

Twas the Night Before Deadlines

Twas the night before deadlines
and all through the house
Only typing could be heard
and the click of a mouse

While others are nestled
all snug in their beds
We’re chained to computers
with essays in our heads

Floating through the corridor
barely stopping to say hi
Knowing it’s the night before tomorrow
and we’re running out of time

Twas the night before deadlines
and all through the house
Only typing can be heard
and the click of a mouse

Sleeping under the Stars

The grass whispers
Under our tiptoeing footsteps
the night is serene
Still
Darkness envelops our surroundings
Creating new forms, obscuring others
A stretch of sand before us proves to be
the perfect spot
Blanket swoops to the floor
and we stop
Cradling alcohol like newborn children; our companions for the long evening
ahead
The moon gleams a shimmer of light as the night yields the
snap and hiss of cans being opened
Gulping, breaking the silence; fizzling liquid
sizzles down our throats
Conversation flows in the same way: no barriers
No taboos
Huddled together on the blanket, watching hypnotic waves
Sleeping under the stars
This night is forever ours

Warm Hands, Cold Heart

That smile
wears a ‘reserved’ sign: just for you
Those eyes
like microscopes: focusing only on the
task in hand
Just for tonight, he’s the knowing smile,
the flirtation, the dance… the possibility
You’re the upturned face, the sparkling eyes,
the expectancy
Takes you by the hand: shatters your
equilibrium
with the effortless gesture
This is your night
but his hands are warm and his heart cold
Any dream will do: tonight… it’s you
Tomorrow, the game begins again
and you will be discarded… an empty
sweet wrapper
Your enjoyment tainted by those warm hands
and cold heart
Warm hands… cold heart

Cruel

They told me the way things were
Your cruelness was depicted in your language
Your transformation was thinly veiled
with silent promises that were never re-enacted
But I was blinded by deception
Your words were empty shells, which eventually fell
on empty ears
I learnt not to listen
They told me the way things would be
You were cruel
I saw the performance
but was never invited behind the scenes
If it was a game, then you were winning
You had it all, but you were cruel
It was easy to pretend
Pretend that normality hadn’t upped and left
Put your arms around me
as if it would make everything all right
But you were cruel
They told me the way things were
but only by your cruelness did I know

The Rose

I was given a rose
all I saw were its thorns
I observed an ocean
I nearly drowned
I listened to a song
I was not impressed
I met you
And I loved
Now the rose is pricking me
The sea is enveloping me
The song is deafening me
And you... you are breaking my heart

I want to leave

I want to leave
Once emotion choked me
Arrested me
Bound me to you
I loved
I felt
Once
You were the world
My world
Our world
A world that included no others
Until now
I want to leave
Once my heart was captured
A hostage
fated never to be set free
Now it has escaped
from your grasp
I want to leave
Goodbye

The Itch

It begins as an agitation
An annoyance
Tingling, winging its way into the
Skin, like a spider cunningly creeping across the calf
A swift sweep of a hand; a shrug of a shoulder but
The itch remains
Prickling, pleading to be taken care of but promising acres of
Blistered, bleeding, blemished skin
Skin tainted by talons, tearing open the perfection to taunt the eye
The itch increases: nails nick and tear as the tingling takes over
Tiny red pinpricks dotted over a burning, broken canvas
Skin surrenders: the itch has won

This is actually a song - perhaps one day I will be brave enough to upload a video of me singing it...!

Maybe

Maybe I thought I could change you
Maybe after a good day I’m naïve that way
And I’m left feeling so uncertain
gradually losing my self-respect
Face another slamming door
As you hurt me some more

Look at my face
as blank as the expression
of the checkout girl as she serves
up my comfort foods
I’m in an emotional plough
can only see this, here, now

I imagine that in a dream I get bigger
until I can tower ten feet above you and flick you down
Because you want me around but you won’t acknowledge me
leave me to drown in my own tears
Waiting for some unknown to become clear

I’m sorry that I’m so imperfect
Sorry that you don’t think I’m "worth it:
Sorry that you only have me to feed your ego
like Alice guzzling pills to make herself grow

Maybe I’m like a camel, storing unresolved arguments
on my back
My unspoken words that weigh me down
While I smile and outwardly agree what a terrible person I am
It’s not me, it’s you
but somehow that won’t get through
When you’re off with me or nasty
it’s not you, but you and me: I get the blame and the tears
to my shame
Another night ruined but to you it’s a game

You’re punishing me for being myself
Using your logic to defy my emotional terms
Black and white: wrong and right
You slowly suck all the passion from me
until I’m an empty shell